THE BEGINNING OF THE END OF THE BEGINNING OF THE END
PART IV

I never gave thought to just how long this part of the beginning or the end of the beginning of the end really was. *sigh* However, I must comtinue on with this vital part that has brought me to turn down another path.

When he told me of these things, my heart was shattered, but he had left reason to believe that his could be changed, and that he was unsure of what the future held. A little while after he got back from the long journey, he told me about what a heart-wrenchingly painful time he'd had. Sure, he'd had his sweet drugs to ease the pain, as usual, but nonetheless, his heart had also been shattered. He told me about how he'd broken down on the way back, and how he moped around his house for a week because of it, causing him to lose his brand new job. He didn't tell me he'd told her he loved her, but he saved THAT one for later.

So, the both of us having two aching souls that needed swift repair, combined and mended the wounds, together. Again, we started unofficially seeing each other, but with more clarity towards one another, and more passion. Though it lasted a mere two weeks, I think I really did love him within that short time spance. In fact, to my recollection, those were the happiest two weeks of my life. Little did I know that it was all just a dream...

I knew he was holding back something, and I knew that, for me, it was either going to be a win/lose situation. Even as he lay sleeping on my lap, I could feel him slowly drifting away from me, his forrowed brow deep in thought, his eyes blindly moving while in R.E.M. A few days later, though it killed me to have to come straight with myself, I called him to come over to my house so that we could talk. THIS was when He told me he said that 3 worded phrase to her. This was when he told me he'd never wanted to hurt me, and faultered a bit on his powerful, stabbing words. This was when he told me he was still confused, but never thought about anyone but me over the last few weeks.

This was when I told Him goodbye.