THE BEGINNING OF THE END OF THE BEGINNING OF THE END
PART I

It's been a long road I've strone. I changed the person I was when I was in 7th grade, and I never looked back. Up until that point, I had never known true shame, had never known the weight of true guilt. You really DON'T know until you look into someone you love's eyes, and not only see yourself portrayed in the worst of ways, but see the dissapointment he/she feels at what you've become. I'll never forget the look my Dad gave me, not for the rest of my life, and even after that. From thince forth I decided to change my course, because if I ever saw that look again I'd probably kill myself. So, I turned into what I wanted to be, and you can't imagine the weight that came off of my shoulders. I didn't care what anyone thought of me, because I was happy with my newly established self, and not afraid to show it.

Then I moved to the middle of nowhere.

At first I was a bit scared, because being on my own in a place where I only know my Gramma, Mother, and Brother was an EXTREMELY scary thought. I mean, what teenager wants to be around only that for a whole summer? This fear was in vein, because that summer I became closer to myself than I ever knew possible. I learned how to take pleasure in the simple things of life, such as sunsets, clouds, and riding a bike through a "suburban" neighborhood. I regreted having to say goodbye to those simplicities on the last few days of summer, because I knew when school started, I'd never be able to go back to those days.

The first few months were decent, but I chose to keep my distance. and tried focusing on my academics. I did a small part in the school play, went on a date or two, and basically either rode my bike or went to the library on my spare time. Winter roled around, and so did another play. The significance of mentioning the plays, by the way, is because acting is a hobby of mine which I brought with me when I moved here, and what I plan on magoring in in college. There is also a social significance in mentioning these plays, because the Theatre kids are widely known as the party-ers, and being around one ultimately results in some sort of "celebration" if you get what I'm trying to say (I'm drug free, by the way). That's somewhat how I met Him...and you know, I think I might, JUST MIGHT have loved Him...