BATTLE WOUNDS THAT STING SO HAUTLY

Eh, not much to say, for the moment being, but a lord of it on my mind....for later application. So, because I feel like avoiding this better left unsaid, I think I'll post my very first movie reviews and or impressions...not sure why, because surely no one will care. Well, I JUST FEEL LIKE IT, alright? Alrighty, here we go... (oh yes, and book reviews as well)

Wait. Just because I say book review, doesn't main I'm going to write a standard few paragraphs about something. I could so that, or I could give an identification line to it (one simple sentence describing my feelings of it), or simply a thumbs down/up. Who knows, so don't take my for Jesus when I'm only a deciple. Alright, moving on...

Mystic River (movie, 2003)- "Geniously written for the cliche mind." I saw every twist and turn coming, come on now, that's no fun? Sean Penn is my favorite actor, though, and he did indeed do marvelously (but he still should have won best actor for I Am Sam instead of this peice of shit film).

The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty (book, 198..4?)- "Weirdest fucking book I've ever read." Yeah, don't ever read it. I was wondering what "erotic books" were like, so I read this one...now I wish I'd never even heard of them. This book almost outweighs how much the movie Passion of the Chirst sucked.

The Passion of the Chirst (movie, 2004)- "All in all, terrible cinematography and a big waist of screentime." I couldn't believe how much this movie sucked, though surely it made out very well in the box office, especially in the south, and with the aid of church groups going to see it weekly. Scenes were dragging, and I mean DRAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGIIIIINNNNNNGGG, 20 minutes of Jesus carrying a cross...alright, I think we get the picture that that's a pretty labourous (is that a word?) ordeal, but you're killing me with focusing on the one object, trying to switch it up with different angles, for TWENTY MINUTES. I can't count how many times I nearly fell asleep. Also, the cinematography was TERRIBLE, who the hell hired these people? Eleven minutes, or so I here, though it seemed longer, on Jesus being beaten, and numerous continuity problems (i.e. one minute seeing 2 Jesus Ribs, the next only one; i.e. Jew on the left side of Jesus, helping him carry the cross, the next shot of him on the left.) Well, surely I could go on and on about how much this movie sucked, but I'd like to at least say SOMETHING posotive, which ultamitely reveals how BAD the movie was: Satan was my favorite character. That was the only aspect I liked of the film, because Satan was portrayed as a unisex, and as fairly human and reasonable, which is why it's so easy to fall for his tricks. It turns out, Satan was played by an Italian woman, but I had to look that up on IMDB! OVERALL RATING:-8529

BACK TO SCHOOL (movie, 1986)- I love this movie. Classic Rodney Dangerfield hilarity, and the beginnings of the later impeccably talented Robert Downey Jr, who was my fav in the film. I use to watch this film all the time over the summer of '98, and every now and then I still rent it. In fact, I hear they are planning a remake of it, which will come out in 2006, but I bet that's going to really suck, and I bet Mandy Moore will have a part in it (not that she's bad or anything...hah) ANYWHO, I predict it will be nowhere near it's original, I mean, If something isn't broken, don't fix it, right? OVERALL RATING: 9.5 (I will never ever go above 10, just to let you know, but I will indeed go FAR below 0, because some films really are worth it)