I'M A MACHINE OF ANTI-CAFFIENE

I just have one thing to say...

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Well, maybe a little more...

I hate. A lot. It sucks.

Alright moving on... so these last few days I've been stressed out of my mind. So much is going on, and I'm so busy, everything is so chaotic...I can't really even think straight, not even to type a decent sentence. I feel desperate, fake, and...misunderstood. Eh.

The thing that is most agonizing for me, at the moment, is that Columbia College hasn't sent me my $500 room deposit back- and I have to make a $2570 payment in one week. Right now I have something like $1900, and people owe me something like $50, so I'm holding my breath for dear life, literally. It's going to really suck if I can't make this payment on time, because the late fee is $75. Five-hundred dollars is an effing large amount of money, and could mean the difference of making this payment realistic or insane. Damn it, if only I'd waited a week, then I would have never sent it...

My life, as of this moment, fucking sucks.

Well, let me try to be optimistic....as hard as it may be for me now-a-days. Uhhh...It Columbia mays me back, I'll only need to borrow some hunder or so dollars, and that's relatively easy considering my grandma's already volunteered such. So far I have to pay people back a total of $540, which is only to Vern and Stevo. Gosh, I'm so glad to have them in my life....this would have never been possible without their contributions. I myself probably wouldn't have been brave enough to lend someone $200 or so dollars, but this is one of 3 or 4 times Stevo's done so, and I'm so glad they both trust me in such a way. I wish I could be as humane as they.

Well, next week is going to be hell for sure. I get paid on the very day I have to send off my money order, so I have to drop by work right quick at about noon and get my cash, then go to the bank and get everything transfered to a money order, then get to my humble abode in time for the mail to pick it up. God I hope it all gets there in time. I have two money orders made out to me that I have to get converted between now and then, and on Tuesday I have to take my grandmother in the bank with me so they'll cash the check she made out to me.

On top of all that, I have to memorize 2 monologues and audition that very Saturday, and I'll be travelling all Friday to get to the campus. I'm really thinking about betting money on when my head is going to explode. I can't wait until after next weeks over. I'll still have a lot going on, but I won't be so pressured by money, and I won't have to worry so much about school work, becasue I won't have to work so much. Then I can focus on the play more, and prep for my most challanging audition: Webster.

And what do you know- I think my family is going out of town that whole weekend. I'll get Justin to drive me up...and oh yea...

PPPAAAAAAARRRRTTTAAAYYYY!!!