BREATHING DEEP THE FRESH AIR OF FREEDOM

I really can't believe it. It's finally over. But why is it that I feel so happy?

Not to say that things are easier now, socially. Not so much socially, but since everyone's been divided into 20 different ways in reference to groups of friends. Before, though, I was questionning everyone in terms of who was really a friend, and who indeed was not. Now, though, I see I've had support from about half the people this whole time. And even now, they're helping me up from that big fall. Honestly, I don't think I would have made it through without them. I believe his insane theories would have swallowed me whole, and I would have fallen victim to having believed that I actually WAS the terrible person that everyone hated. What a bastard, huh?

The funny thing is, though he said he never wanted to talk to me again, he talked to me in a thread, with his insivible ink pouring out everywhere. By invisible ink, I mean stupid, irrelivant stuff that was intended to cut deeply, but was actually laughable. Seriously, it was over me bringing chips to a BBQ, and him tell me to shut up and go listen to The Mars Volta on repeat, which I've never done in the first place, though they are one of my favorite bands. What a kook, huh?

Though everything has been a lot better, and everyone has noticed the old me is back again, I am still doubtful of some people. I know they try to be my friends, but the magority clearly don't know how to, and I'm not going to waste my time trying to teach them. About my "friend" that's now seeing Logan...I'm honestly not sure at all- I have NO clue. I mean, if that stuff hadn't have happened, I would probably be talking to and hanging out with the girl a lot more. But it's hard, you know? I don't believe she knows how hard it actually is, because she's so innocently naive about anything when it comes to seeing people. I've definantly places her best friend, which use to be my friend, back to a solid aquantince, though she tries just being friends as usual. I'm not cruel to the girl, and I don't ignore her, but...yea, I don't know what to say :).

Hmmm...I hope Logan realizes in the near feature how totally ludacris he's becoming, and that someday he'll even mull over how I once tried to help him out. Our fall was inevitable, however, I knew that even before we'd gotten together. I'd told me friends I'd wanted to stay friend with him before them, though I had earlier had a thing for him, but I still said "ah, what the hell" when the oppurtunity arrived. I don't regret anything, because I hardly regret anything I do (you learn and become more of an individual with each situation you go through), but it's...it's kind of sad how messy things actually became. Suffice to say, I don't plan on getting serious with anyone anytime soon, and if the oppurtunity does indeed arrive...no thank you.

I do wish that I could warn this girl involved with him about him, but I know that would just cause a lot of drama, and, of course, the only way she can learn the truth is to experience it. Hey, maybe they will work out? But I'm thinking...no. Anyhow, though it seems so dark, for them doing what they've done, I hope they go through all of that together, because maybe it will make him wake up, and maybe it will make her realize that looks can be decieving.

Well, that's that. Hopefully I can get back to my idealogies rather than dicussing current events...gah