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So...here's the breakdown on the "Logan Situation"...

Recently, as in last night, Logan I got together to discuss what the hell was going on, though I practially had to pull him in chains to do so. From 7:30 to 9:30 Central Standard Time, Logan and I spent time walking around a trial in a fores-like known as Engler Park, finally stopping and sitting on some chair-sized rocks, on a man-made island, in the middle of one of the many man-made ponds there. We started conversation off casually, breifly discussing this and that, such as "how was your weekend?" and "remember that one time when..." and so forth.

It appeared he wasn't going to have enough strength to start things off, so, of course, I had to begin it, though I did it extremely suttly, so as not to start off in a defensive manner. "So yeah...what's up? Why do you feel the way you feel?"

We both handled things pretty well, and he told me about how he just couldn't stand me, though he had nothing to prove that I'd done anything to him. He even said it himself that I'd done nothing, and that he'd even told people I'd done nothing. However, what's going on here doesn't much have to do with the relationship between he and I, but more so with him, and who he's become.

He admitted that it wasn't necessary for him to add in the hateful behavior when he'd requested to have some space, which I'd told him I'd gladly have given him and will give him, but that he'd just had so much frustration building up that it'd just fueled out. From what, I'm not sure. Probably because he hadn't been mean to me or called me a bitch out of nowhere in a whole week, and that was a record.

Then I began to tell him, slowly but surely, that he had changed. And it wasn't just towards me, but many people close to him have noticed as well, though I wouldn't give the names. I told him how the use of pot causes excessive mood swings, irritabuility, and unreasonable anger. I also included that it wasn't really the drugs I was concerned about, ubt the effects they were having on him. I reassured him that I know everyone changes, and that even I've changed, but that he should look very hard in the mirror, and maybe then he'd get a glimpse of what he's become.

All of this I suppose may have been shocking to him, and, as anyone would do, he sort of laughed at the corniness of it, and said that was entirely NOT what he'd come to talk about. I knew that, and I told him I knew, and I wasn't trying to put myself on a higher, all-knowing pedestal than him, though he'd lowered me enough, but I was trying to help him the only way I knew how, where others just left him, because maybe they had too much faith that he'd do best on his own.

I proceeded to remind him that he'd been doing a lot more drugs this year than before it started, and that he'd been hanging around people who pretty much all out despise me. It's reasonable and logical to take it that, after a while, one begins to pick up certain antics of the people they are around most, such as a laugh, or a gesture. If this is so, it's quite possible that the irritabuilities they'd began to have with me then became his irritabuilities, or more distinct. Not only that, but trying to take all of that alone would be understandably tough. Surely he'd been poked at about hanging out with me, and after he'd treated me so harshly, he'd recieved a pat on the back. He'd said he didn't think that was the issue, then again I believe he's quite in a state of denial.

I'm sure I've failed to list other important aspects, but now I must move on to our resolution to the problem. Even at this point, he was being moody with me, saying one minute he'd regreted everything, saying the next minute he'd like to be me friend, then saying he can't stand being around me...so it appeared obvious to me that I'd have to do this for him, but make it appear it was his decision. So then, "we" came to the conclusion that I will give him as much time and space as he needs, so that he can have some time to himself to figure out things. Whenever he feels ready enough, we can begin to hang out again, but we will never again talk over the internet, though e-mailing will be acceptable.

I understand that this is mandatory, considering I've been in his position. He needs some time to really define who he's become, and determine if that's what he should really be, and if it's the best he can be. Then, he'll have to make amends with how he feels about me. In some ways, I feel that I've been his scapegoat, saving him from lashing out at himself. Maybe he feels I'm the one who's corrupted him, when really it's the drugs (this year he became hostile, and this year he started doing them more heavily). Nonetheless, he'll need some time to recooperate from whatever the hell's going on, and I know I've done all I can do. I can't help him with that, and I honestly don't want to deal with the troubles of doing so. At least I know I haven't left him in a pool of sharks, like all the others have.

He also brought up that we should see other people. I'm somewhat baffled by him caring to bring up the subject, considering I've stated to him numerous times we're just friends, so that shouldn't matter, but I'm glad he did. Of course you know that whenever someone says that, they're interested in someone. I think Logan feels that he has to have some sort of relationship there to work towards, otherwise there isn't anything worth doing anything for. So, I told him that I knew all of this, and he told me to guess who, which I correctly guessed at the first try. The problem is, this girl and I are good friends, and I'd told Logan that if we were to ever break up (back when we were going out) to not go there, because I knew she had a crush on him, and I knew that might hinder my relationship with the girl. I respect her, and I suppose I'm as comfortable as one can possibly get about it, but I told him he should really, REALLY think about it before he dives into something else, whether it be serious or whimsical dating. I expressed to him that as long as she didn't talk to me about anything, it might not affect our relationship, though I also added that it could possibly ruin my friendship with her, which would be sad, because we get along well, and she's a cool kid. I told him, if he attempts something there, that it would be best to at least wait until school is out, not only for the timing with him and I, but because it would just be another huge scandal in the drama of school.

So...that's it. Maybe I'll have updates in that area in a few weeks, but for now there's nothing. I asked him if he'd truly regretted everything, and included that if he truly did, then how could he have said he knew there was something about me, when he saw me for the very first time? I mean, the guy had even remembered the clothes I was wearing. He then said , after thinking about it for a minute or two, that he indeed did not regret being with me, the way it was way back when.

I wonder, just wonder, did he see that something the first time he'd seen my friend?