WE INTERRUPT THIS NEWCAST FOR AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT

Yeah, sorry about the interruption, but the reason writing has been delayed is because I haven't been sure rather to continue on with this, or describe the madness that has come to hand since May began. Because I cannot consintrate on apprecieting many things right now, I've decided to post some...drama.

FUCK YOU

Heh, sorry, that's not to you, but if the person who it belongs were to stumble apon this blog, he would know it as being rightfully his. I know what you're thinking: Who'd have thought it to be a guy?! OMG Uh huh...

ANYhow, so, Logan and I had made it clear with each other that we were to be merely very good friends (what the hell would you know, I never told you that!), and it seemed everything was going fine until, who'd-a-thunk it, Logan became confused! That's right, as unbelieveable as it may sound...ANYhow, apparently Logan was not yet "over me," and he needed some time and distance away from me to figure things out. This, to me, seemed quite understandable, and I was more than willing to help the dumbass (oops) out and NOT hang out with him.

That's when he pulled the last straw.

For some reason, he felt compelled to speak roughly to me again, though he'd just pointed out he'd been really nice for a whole week (OMG, BROKEN RECORD). He then began tell me to "fuck off, bitch," and that he was tired of my, MY bullshit, and that he thought we could be friends, but apparently not, because no one can ever be friends with me. You know, he even went far enough to say that I'd been banned from one of our use-to-be mutual friends house? That's so ridiculous and ironic, because I'd decided on "that fateful night" that I was never going back there again, AND I'd told him that very same night, when I'd broken up with him. But oh, I forgot, they'd been caniving against me the whole time, and apparently had become tired of my "annoying tendancies." Furthermore, he told me that he was a fool to ever try and mend things together from the start, that he regreted everything, that I was "a fucking idiot" (this in only one of the many names he called me; what's new), and that he was trying to get me to hate him (for what reason, I know not).

And all of this started from a simple question: Logan, are you going to give me a ride to school tomorrow?

Yea, and you thought women were moody? Think again.

Though this wasn't the only time he'd been so hateful and ugly towards me, this, indefinantly, was the worst, and I'd never seen it coming. Everything was so fast, yet hurt like a million years of torture. I knew I had to do something, because if I just sat and did nothing I'd scream. I just kind of paced a little bit, with my crazy eyes fighting off the tears, running my hands through my hair swiftly. So I grabbed my jacket and ran the hell out of my house, as fast as I could. I didn't have a clue where I was going, I just knew I had to get the hell out of there.

Tears streaked down my face as the harsh wind assulted my hair and face. I didn't care, I could hardly feel it. The only thing I could feel was the white hot rage storming through every peice of my body, and the pounding heart which I felt would explode at any moment. I eventually ended up at some sucluded park bench, a little ways away from a cluster of trailers, and blocks from my neighborhood. I dared anyone passing by in a car to look into my eyes- to even get a glimpes of the pain I felt. Betrayal, pure and naked betrayal. I even dared nature, I even dared God. Though it was raining and windy, I felt as though I were about to burst into flames.

When I finally cooled down, which must have been an hour or two later, being that the sun ahd gone down, I came back to find that my brother'd been searching the neighborhood for me, and was now talking to Logan. Stevie said to me that Logan had seemed concerned, and claimed that he knew nothing of why I was so upset. As soon as Stevie gave the up-date to Logan that I was indeed back, Logan left to go "take a shower." When I got online later, he'd told the use-to-be mutual friend, Alex, about it, because Alex wrote out of nowhere in a forum "let's see if we can freak her out again and make her run out of her house." Yes, as if someone had actually MADE me run out of my house besides me. Pure ignorance, what a pathetic prick to give a damn about me running out of my house, as if it's any of his business, and as if no one in the world has ever done it.

Though it seemed Logan wished never to have anything to do with me anymore, what the hell when I walk down the hall, see him, and he SMILES at me. WHAT. THE. HELL. After he's said all of these terrible, terrible things, he SMILES at ME. That fucking...asshole. SO, I figured hey, if he can say it to me a dozen times over the internet, surely he'll say it to my face. I WANT him to.

So, this morning, I stood in front of the door that I know he goes into every morning and waited. Waited for my pray. When he finally came, he said "looking for someone?" No, dickface, I'm just standing here so I can be late for class. I then challenged him to, as I've stated, say it to my face, whatever he wants to say or call me. I continued to pursued him into doing so by telling him that he surely has SOMETHING to say, and that if he really ment what he said, if he was a man of his word, then he would tell me, right there. He tried to ask if he could do it at a later time, but there wasn't going to be a later time. It's now or never, babe.

He said he had nothing to say to me. Then I walked away.

What a sissy, huh? Now, I ask you, is that the TRUE definition on an honorable character? This may seem biast, because you haven't heard the "other side," but, in truth, there IS no other side. Yea, and to top off his maturity, I'm pretty sure I saw him flip me off after school in the parking lot. Oh, and he smiled at me again on the way to lunch...

I give good thought to the things I say or write before I say or write them. Before I even think about saying or writing something, I make sure I truely and honestly feel or believe what I'm about to impress apon someone. So, naturally, when I say or write something, I don't just mean it right then, I really MEAN it. Now then, when Logan says or writes something, it's, in my opinion, on a whim, and it's only how he feels at that split second that he says or writes it. Possibly not even that. Most of the time, I believe it's what he WANTS to feel, or wants the other person to feel that way, whether good or bad.

At first, this was the thing he'd always dreamed of, then he'd "been mindless" and wanted to make it all up. He KNEW he could, and he'd do ANYTHING to have it back, including giving up that sweet herb he doth love so. Then, he became ugly, then he wanted to repent from that, by giving up not only that herb, but some of the friends he'd felt had been having a bad impression apon his desires. Then, when it was really, really over, he wanted to give it another try. Then he wanted to be friends, and thought I was wanting more than that, and didn't want to make me feel bad (yeah, right). Then he wanted to be with me again, then he became ugly again, then I'd sent him a letter that he'd "given deep though to," and that had made him finally realize that he never wanted to be that way again. Then, he'd said he was stupid for going to prom with someone else, because all he'd ever wanted was me (uh huh, if that were true, you wouldn't still be going to prom with that fucked up bitch, WHO is honestly crazy, goes to counseling, anger management, holds grudges for ANYTHING [no kidding, she once held a grudge towards a kid for not giving her back $1 he borrowed], hates her friend every other week [i use to be her friend, then she started hating me, i still don't know why], and whom of which once held a grudge against you, calling you the biggest asshole she'd ever known) Then, he was content with being my friend, and cherished our friendship, and was very careful with his words and trying to understand my words. Then he became confused, and wanted to be away for a week, to see how things went. Then he wanted me to hate him, and became a complete asshole.

Boy, he sure did a good job. 'Cuz I sure as hell NEVER want to be his friend again.