I feel resolved. How? Well, being that I just realized it 10 seconds ago, of course I can explain it. No, but I think I kind of have an inkling as to why I am. Shall I go on? Actually, there's no real lengthy reason, I just feel that being here, in this apartment complex, with the friends I've had over the years living here as well is...ideal, and right. I don't feel any pressure in trying to appear pleasant socially, because I already have these friends, and I could care less to make more, seeing as how I'm moving this summer, and practically have no intentions on returning here. In this resolvement, I've been feeling a certain degree of solace in the fact that one day I'll eventually die, and if that day were today then I'd be fine with it. Usually, my philosophy of death was something along the lines of 'if it comes it comes,' but I didn't want to die, because I still wanted to experience some different things. I guess it doesn't help that I'm not looking forward to going in the courtroom, either. :P No matter...I think I'm happy to be here, for now.

I know I've already said this a million times, but it really is funny how life works out. Aaron is available again, and back in my life, and alas; I'm moving out of the country. That's swell. At least I realize that it's a hardly a reapproachable thing, and though it can be attempted to some degree, and I'm for sure a willing party, I doubt he'd want to make that sort of investment into things. He seems to have stolen all of my thoughts from me lately, and instead plastered his face all over my irises. Veronica says I have a crush. I told her "I don't know," and I don't. I'll never stop feeling for Him, and I know for certain how I feel about him--I feel how I've always felt. Alright, that's lame, so I'll say I feel how I've felt for years about him, but it's not something in which I have all sorts of expectations from his side; I don't. I know he's probably beyond me in that degree, and I know I wasn't enough for him way back when and I've learned from that, and now that I've finally grown to understand this it's..useless. Oh well, I don't mind. I'm going to do some writing about him...but not on here. Somewhere else...somewhere EXCLUSIVELY for me...so that I can read it and always have the memory of...

...well, if I told you I'd be giving that away. :P But I'll tell you one thing: I can't stop thinking about it, and how I can't wait to give in.