SIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGHHHHHHHHH

And yet another weekend goes by seemingly without more than two blinks. Oh the sick irony of it all- life, that is.

Maybe I shouldn't complain in such a manner, though. I'm trying to get in good with the man, and trash talking his work probably wouldn't be the best way to get a VIP pass. Not that I want one, I just need some favors. Gosh, I just can't seem to mind my tongue under the correct perstigue.

Well, I auditioned at Webster, an extremely renowned school, where I was up against all sorts of characters from across the country, quite literally. Thank God the majority were there for Musical Theatre. Thank God I have no interest in musical theatre. I believe, If my calculations are correct, I have a one in ten chance of being selected for the BFA Acting program for Regional Theatre.

Call me too critical on myself, and I guess rightfully so, but I think my audition was...terrbile, to say the least. True, I think I was one of the better actors there out of us 7 that auditioned that afternoon, but...I just did awful, on my standards. Alright, first monologue: I don't really understand it anyways, so it doesn't help when I FORGET THE WHOLE THING ON THE FIRST LINE. Gah. I'm pretty sure they knew I was jumbling sentence structures around all over the place, completely crusifying the playwright's work. The second one I am in better tune with, but damn it to hell if I'd already passed my 3 minutes time limit 4 or 5 sentences short of the end of it. And to think I'd planned to do my best one first. I may live to regret that choice for the rest of my life, you know.

At least one of the auditioners seemed interested in my last peeice. He asked me what my take was on the character, and who I got it from, then I told him I'd found it on my own. He also asked if I'd rehearsed it in front of anyone before, or gotten help on it, and I said no, just all by myself. That gave me a little bit a reassurance, but I think they could tell I was off edge. I walked out and could stop repeating the word "fuck" to myself all the way down the hallway. Or all the way down the stairs. Or all the way through the lobby. Or all the way down the sidewalk, crossing a few cross walks, going up more stairs, through the film production department, the undergraduate center, the university center, passed the library, and all the way back through there. Yes, I was quite agitated with myself. God I hope I make it.

Well, I'll just have to tell people to pray for me, and I'll have to pray too. True, I am no religious person, but...I don't know, maybe it's a start, ey?

There was a kid there that was at my last audition, and he didn't make it. Neither did my other friend that auditioned there for musical theatre, though I already knew that she wasn't good enough. I mean, sure, she can carry a tune and sing and all that, but when it comes to acting...nah. She seems to think that she's so passionate, but really...I don't think she is, I think she just wants people to look at her and say "Hey, I use to know her" and get out all of her "important ideas" for being so famous. That's not what it's about. It's not about playing the role, it's about living it, breathing it, being it, so much so that it may linger on in you for the rest of your life. She speaks of diversity in roles, and how manditory that is to be a true artist, when all she does is recite lines. The key to acting is quite the opposite of what the word intends. You find the best acting in not acting at all. And that's all she does; act.

Oh well, I'm getting to immersed in such a rather shallow subject, but truthfully I need to get these thoughts out, because surely it would be bad form for publicize my opinion locally. And I do not wish that, I simply wish to ponder to myself such thoughts, and no more. It kind of saddens me that I've lost a little trust to this site--it was the Logan scare. It's still there. I still have Eville thinkings on that too...